How many times have you heard a relationship usage sentence like this one: “So, it looks like we’re not getting along any more.” Well, that statement presupposes that there is some sort of problem between the people in the relationship. But is that really true? Relationship usage often has a very simple root–a difference in interpretation or attitude. Here are a few of my top examples:
“So, it seems like we are not getting along any more.” –This relationship usage sentence implies that the couple has a problem in the relationship. It doesn’t say, “We aren’t getting along.” The sentence actually says, “It seems like we are not getting along any more.” This example of relationship usage suggests a problem and implies that the couple has to work at solving the problem together.
“I am finding it difficult to communicate with you using only the technology that I have at home.” This relationship example asks the question, “You are communicating using only the technology that you have at home.” Technological means it is using something created by someone else.
“We can’t do that without the help of the technology.” This relationship usage shows both parties are using technology, which is creating the problem. Again, both parties need to find a way to communicate without using technology. If you are arguing about technology, then this one is pretty easy. However, if you are trying to communicate about your relationship problems, then it’s an entirely different story.
“I would love to talk more but my children keep me from doing so.” The relationship usage here implies that you would like to talk more but your children keep you from doing that. Communication issues arise when one spouse uses technology to solve relationship problems. Even though one spouse has the technological advantage, both spouses must find a way to communicate without using that technology.
“This relationship has become unhealthy because of this.” This relationship usage tells you that the relationship is unhealthy because of something. It could be something as simple as a lack of intimacy or it could also be something as severe as abuse. The thing is that it’s not your job to fix the relationship and if you want to save your relationship, then you need to find a way to fix that problem.
This relationship usage points out that you need to start saving your relationship because it’s not worth saving if you won’t know what’s in it for you. One spouse may have all the technology in the world but that doesn’t mean that person is capable of fixing their own relationship. In fact, it may even point to a personality disorder. Both spouses should work together on repairing their relationship.
These five relationship usage examples show how dependent we are on communication. Without communication, problems can’t be solved. They can only be masked. When you learn to use these sentences, you will be making your life easier. This can have a great impact on your relationship.
“I just want to spend more time with him/her.” If you and your partner both feel like the other is taking control of the relationship, then you have to say, “I just want to spend more time with her/him.” It’s important that you don’t sound as though you’re complaining. You have to make it seem like you are looking forward to spending time together. The relationship usage sentence will have your partner wondering why that is.
If your ex has started to take you for granted, then your relationship usage sentence should be “I just want to be with him/her again.” You can even use it when your ex is about to propose to you. “I just want to spend the night with him/her.” If you and your partner are having problems and you are afraid that the relationship may end because of it, then you should use the phrase, “I need to talk things out.” The relationship usage sentence here will give the two of you time to talk things out and salvage your relationship.
If your relationship has turned sour, then you should use “I am breaking up with you.” “I just can’t live with this anymore.” If you are breaking up because of a problem that caused the two of you to quarrel in the first place, then use “I don’t want to fight anymore.” Again, you do not want to sound rude or hurtful to the person you are to blame for your relationship to turn sour.
Sometimes it can be hard to think of a relationship sentence. However, once you get into the groove of thinking of one, you will be able to think of dozens. This will help you during your next reconciliation with your partner. If you are stuck for words, then you should read relationship books, listen to relationship CDs, or watch videos on relationship basics. You can also look for free resources on the internet. It will certainly be worth it!